So far in 2013 I had to cancel a trip of a lifetime, I developed an injury that just leaves my leg constantly aching, my attempts at gardening left me with a seriously violent case of poison ivy, I have two ongoing appeals/battles with my healthcare insurance provider, I've been rejected dozens of times, my computer died, and now I can add to the list that I won't be going to grad school. I think it's fair to say that I've kind of had a run of bad luck. If you're going to the casino, don't take me.
This is not to ignore the shining moments - dozens of great little moments with friends, new things with C (and Jess!), upcoming summer plans, my parents unrelenting generosity, etc.
But so far this year has been, in a word, disappointing.
Why?
I was only accepted to Oregon - denied all financial aid/work study - did not get any of the assistantships I applied for - cannot justify 80k in high interest loans for my expected salary.
So what now?
Plan C: Move to Colorado and pursue teaching again!
My feelings:
I feel pretty solid and positive about these initial feelings. I know that as I continue to plan and move on, my feelings of excitement will continue to grow.
Disclaimer: This is the most haphazard plan I've ever had for my life.
Honestly, I am surprised by my ease and comfort with the haphazardness and risk involved. All I really know at this point is where and what - Denver, teaching - and no details beyond that. But that is the benefit of floating without direction... any step forward is still a step forward despite how solid it may or may not be.
Is there a chance I'll crash and burn? Yes.
Is there a chance this risk will be the best pay-off ever? Yes.
Colorado:
I am SO EXCITED to move to Denver. Colorado is so unbelievably beautiful and overflowing with opportunities for adventure and joy. It has everything I loved about Oregon, minus the coast, but with an amazing friend - Kirsten!! Kirsten and Preston have already made me feel so welcomed to Denver and more excited with each conversation.
Teaching:
Since I was a little girl, education has had my heart. I've honestly thought about going back to the classroom several times since leaving NYC and I feel really comfortable and excited (albeit nervous) about teaching again!
I'm hoping to turn this year around, and I feel really good about moving forward.
I think Plan C is a solid plan. And hey - third time's a charm, right?