1 Year Anniversary

one year ago today I moved to NYC

this year has probably made more of an impact on me than any other year in my life. every other change in life seemed to be an extension of the phase that came before it. this year has given a lot of things to me, but it has also challenged me and changed me in many really positive ways, i think.

the end of the school year is kind of crazy.

wrapping up grad school (ugh)

toooons of celebrations and whatnots to attend (woohoo!)

i'm soooo looking forward to the summer. it will be as fun as these nails!

(mine = orange; heather = green)

5 more days!!! 5 more days!!!

winding down...

9 days of work.

8 days with kids.

6 days of instruction. (2 are field days! woohoo)

Year 1 almost done.

Everything's winding down.

Reflection time...

(blog coming soon)

a little bit of nature

Before I start I would just like to say that EVERYBODY NEEDS TO BLOG!!! (except Alisha - you've been good!) It helps me keep up with your lives and it makes me happy. Make today the day - start your blogging again!

Also... do you know how amazing Zip cars are?! They are the best thing maybe ever. I'm so glad I'm a zipster. If you live in a city with zip cars (and you don't have a car yourself) you should totally do zip cars!

Speaking of... last weekend we got a car and went to the Appalachian Mountains! It was a chance to get out of the city, revisit Pawling (love Pawling) and get into some nature.

I'll admit, I was a bit nervous about driving in the city... but it wasn't bad!

We don't have any pictures of the really woodsy parts, but here are some pictures from the trip (provided by Heather - thanks!)

You have NO idea how hard it is to actually find this place... haha We felt very proud.

This would have been a cute picture...

if I wasn't swatting away a bug. I put it up here to show my love/hate relationship with nature. I love it... but I hate the bugs and grossness that comes along with it.

Its amazing that some people go all the way up these mountains... part of me would like to do it some day, but I honestly don't think I could handle it.

It was supposed to rain all day but it didn't actually start raining (and by raining I mean torrential pour) until we were getting ice cream from an adorable local dairy place. Lucky us.

Also, while driving around we found a HUGE abandoned psychiatric hospital that I wanted to endlessly explore and the most precious boarding school for boys. Pretty neat.

And then Natalie and I (and for a little bit Alison) laid out at Pier 1... not the home goods store. Its part of the new extension to the Brooklyn Bridge Park. Now, I do wish I had a pool to dip in... but you gotta admit, this is a pretty cool view.

(And next time we'll keep in mind that the sun is a serious thing... put the sun screen on right away. haha)

The countdown: 15 more days of work. 13 more days with kids.

kiddos

Here are some pictures of the kids I teach at our field trip last week.

My bus buddy: Lorenzo (sweetest kid EVER!)

Nisah's group.

A big rock!!!

Me and Dillion eating lunch under a tree.

These two love each other more than anybody I've ever known. So sweet.

Learning about pond life.

One of my coworkers and his kids. (so cute!)

19 more days... becoming bittersweet.

passion

note: not a typical blog post
disclaimer: i want to emphasize that I am very happy... just very 'reflective' at the moment

I feel like I have two main passions in my life: music and people.

Music:
The capabilities of music to effect any given situation astounds me. I run harder and longer when a good beat is running with me. I feel more emotion when the music draws it from me. I watch with greater understanding when music, subtle as it may be, adds to the background. I dance with greater joy when movement is inspired by rhythm. I understand people unknown to me when their lyrics sing for them. I feel at home when I am playing. I feel incredibly connected when I am playing with others. Music is where I succeed. Music is where I am passionate.

People:
It goes almost without saying that people define any situation you find yourself in. Given the wrong situation with right people, it still turns out to be pretty positive most times; given the perfect situation in solitude, or with ‘the wrong people’, the joy of that situation is ruined. I have been incredibly blessed to have amazing people in my life who I would gladly die for. Through and with those people I have experienced trust – respect – pure joy – and love.

I feel like for several years I put music as my #1 priority (and ‘people’ was a very close 2^nd). I was happy… but I felt defined by my passion. I felt out of balance, and I couldn’t gain that balance while maintaining the level of dedication to music that I wanted to have. It was a battle, and I forfeited.

Then people became my #1 priority. I enjoyed my friendships like I never had before my whole life. I felt balanced. I fell in love. I was genuinely happy (this is not to say that I wasn’t happy before… it just wasn’t as genuine). I felt like I was released. However, during this time I didn’t feel the drive and success as I had in other times in my life.

Now what? I’m not even sure what I would say my #1 priority is… because it seems to come without passion. My passions in life remain the same yet in terms of my priorities, people seem to be a distant 2^nd and music an even more distant 3^rd. I’m still very happy… just not as genuinely so.

Tonight, I miss my passionate life. I am very happy and I am loving the life that I am experiencing… but part of it seems to be missing. Part of me seems to be missing.

Am I off balance? Am I just becoming an “adult”? Am I in the right place? (NY – yes. Teaching?...) Will I ever find another OUPS? Will I feel like I did with him, again? Isn’t a passionate life supposed to be a happy one? And a successful one?

Where can I find my trifecta: passionate, happy, and successful?