Sunday, November 11, 2012

stuck

I'm stuck.

Write... delete... write... scratch out... write more. 
Start over. 
Sit... think... stare at the page.
Do something else.

It doesn't even feel like writer's block... it just feels like an overall block.

I want to go to grad school, so I have to apply, so I have to write this statement of purpose... but I can't seem to do it.  It's not just the statement - I'm dragging in every part of the process.  I'm not sure why... is it a fear of rejection?  A fear of actually going through with this new plan for my life?  

Its odd that I want this, and I know I want this.... but can't seem to go through the steps that will get me there.  

And I can't figure out why.

But deadlines trump my worries. So I'll write something and I'll submit it... I just want to feel differently about it... or at least figure out why I feel the way I do.  

2 comments:

  1. Is it because there are so much more fun things to do with c? I feel like it gets harder and harder for me to study the longer I have been out of school... due to other fun things I could be doing!
    That is probably not your problem because you're actually a motivated person, so I hope you can overcome!!!
    LOVE

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  2. You'll figure it out, Laura! That's how I feel about almost every big decision in my life. I put if off so much because I'm unsure/worried about what to do. Then I end up not applying or doing it late :( I wish I had some advice for you since I'm such a pro at it, but I still haven't learned how to get over that...

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