If I had to chose one specific thing to say about my struggles this year is that I no longer feel like myself at work. This feeling is the root of so much dissatisfaction in my life - to not feel like yourself is an injustice to the life your living. I have allowed certain people, systems, hell-bent grudges, etc. affect me in this way. The bigger problem is that work (or work-related things) involve roughly 75% of my current life... causing me to only partially feel like myself the other 25% of the time, because I'm still recovering and rethinking it all.
I am taking the advice of the beloved Eleanor Roosevelt.
"Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world."
"I think at some point we learn who we really are and then live with that decision."
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."
My issues at work don't involve students or student achievement... and isn't that all that really matters? When did I stop deciding to do things for myself, in the way that is best for me? When did I start allowing other people to effect me in this way? Why did that happen?
I'm taking back me. I'm ignoring "you" and the way you make me feel. I'm doing what I need to do in order to feel like myself, and we're all going to benefit from it - myself, my kids, my friends, etc.
:( i wish you didnt feel that way. i hope you get back to feeling like yourself quickly. i know it is miserable to feel not like yourself.
ReplyDeleteyeah for boundaries! i know, i can see that teaching can be incredibly time consuming. i hope you get some good rest/alone-time to feel balanced and like yourself. you need it! :)
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